War Bride
|Written By = Adam Armus & Nora Kay Foster |Story By = |Teleplay By = |Directed By = Kevin Sorbo |Order in Series = 57 of 111 |Order in Season = 20 of 22 |Order in Franchise= 105 of 304 |Prev Episode in Series = "The End of the Beginning" |Next Episode in Series = "A Rock and a Hard Place" |Prev Episode in Franchise = "Ulysses" |Next Episode in Franchise = "The Price" |title cap image = }} Summary Iolaus is alone fighting a Hydra, when it lunges for him. He suddenly wakes up and realizes it was a nightmare, one he has had twice before. Hercules suggests that he needs a vacation and Iolaus goes a step further and suggest they both go on a break. He just happens to know the perfect place... Meanwhile, in Alcinia, Princess Melissa is whining to her father, King Tolas, about being forced into an arranged marriage with Prince Gordius of Lathia. Princess Alexa enters and wonders why the marriage must take place at all, since Melissa is the rightful heir. The king does not believe she is capable of handling the crown, as well as believes it to be no job for a woman. He is dying and wants his kingdom to be in good hands. When alone, Alexa suggests Melissa should run away, but the bride-to-be knows that she has been raised in royalty, as well as wouldn't know how to take care of herself alone. Later that night, while asleep, she is kidnapped by a man who seems to know about her pending nuptials. When the kidnapping is discovered, evidence suggests Lathia as the culprit and Alexa wants her father to send the army after her. He is reluctant however, afraid for his daughters life and sends a spy instead. Far away, Melissa is jolted awake aboard a slave ship, chained with other women. Even here, her spoiled ways cause her to think this is part of the Lathian marriage custom. When the slaver mentions taking her to the market, she thinks he means to go shopping! In Lathia, Prince Gordius, shown to be self-conscious about his weight but is by no means fat, frets over his missing bride. His advisor, Acteon, dismisses the prince's worries and clearly tries to get him to drink poison. Gordius is too upset and leaves the tainted drink. Meanwhile, Hercules and Iolaus are taking in a mud bath at a spa. Interrupted by a realtor selling "time shares," they quickly leave. Soon they come upon the slave market and Hercules fights the slavers and frees the women, including Melissa, who recognizes him from years before. Seven or eight years ago, he helped Tolas conclude the peace treaty with Lathia. Hercules and Iolaus decide to escort the princess to the marriage, with Melissa confusing Iolaus for a manservant and referring to him as "Iolfus" and acting aloof to the situation. Further down the road, she admonishes him for not showing her the proper respect and Hercules has to stop them from arguing. Melissa mentions not wanting to get married, as she thinks Gordius is fat and unsuitable to be her husband, though she has never met him. Further along, after the princess encounters a large bug and a mudhole, she angers Iolaus even further by referring to a war possibly being fought over her as "romantic." Crossing a swamp, with the princess on his shoulders, she insults him further and Iolaus dumps her in the water, much to her horror. In Alcinia, Alexa again asks her father to send in the army, saying she admired him and was proud when he led the army into battle. The king has put his warrior days in the past, though. He is upset at having used an awesome weapon called the "Fist of Tolas." He wants peace for his kingdom now. Alexa has other plans and later smothers him in his bed. She declares herself queen and orders the army and the Fist of Tolas ready for battle. Later, coming to the first Lathian village, she orders the weapon to be used on the civilians and declares that this is a total war. She mentions her hatred for Hercules, since he "forced" her father into the peace treaty years before. Further in Lathia, Gordius decides to gather his men and go looking for Melissa, against the wishes of the treacherous Acteon. Coming upon the Lathia village Alexa attacked, Melissa sees the horror of battle firsthand. Large spiked projectiles, fired from the Fist of Tolas, are everywhere, having cut down the people. The village itself is a smoldering ruin and Hercules knows what weapon caused it. Further along, they are attacked by the Alcinian army and come under arrow fire. They soon find injuring Lathian soldiers and begin to care for them, which Melissa thinks is wrong since they are the enemy. A nearby temple is filled with the injured and Melissa is drafted to care for the wounded. At first horrified at the thought, she is forced to see the terrors of battle firsthand, especially when a wounded man dies while she holds his hand. She no longer thinks war to be "romantic." Hercules goes to find the women, but finds Gordius and his men first. Going together, he notices Acteon slipping away from the group. Nearby, Alexa has come to the temple, as well as orders the weapon to fire, even if it means killing her sister. Acteon joins her, being a spy, as well as tells her Hercules is with her sister and holed up in the temple. Hercules finds them, but is buried under boulders when the weapon is fired at him. Alexa leaves the weapon behind while she marches on the temple. When the men guarding it search the boulders, Hercules busts out and defeats them, then goes to follow Alexa. At the temple, Gordius and his men arrive. Finally meeting, the prince and princess have a mutual attraction and bond while she bandages his hand. A fight breaks out and Melissa finds out about her father, as well as Gordius about Acteon betraying him. The prince defends his bride-to-be and they grow closer. Alexa retreats to join her men with the weapon so they can destroy the temple. Hercules is there, though and fights her men again. This time, Melissa is there too, as well as knockes out her sister with a solid punch. Back in Lathia, Melissa apologizes for being such a rude companion and she and Gordius mention that they will be getting to know each other a bit before being married. She even calls Iolaus by his proper name and Hercules and he leave the village. Iolaus mentions they should try a variation of bungee jumping to start their vacation. Disclaimer "No Leather-clad, Pointy-breasted, Buffont-wearing, Pillow-smothering, Two-faced Sisters were harmed during the production of this motion picture." Gallery File:War_bride_01.jpg|The Same Nightmare File:War_bride_02.jpg|My Life is Over! File:War_bride_03.jpg|Time Share? File:War_Bride_01.jpg|Hargus' Slave Ship File:War_bride_05.jpg|I Thought it Was All a Joke File:War_bride_06.jpg|You Can't Be Serious File:War_bride_07.jpg|It's Up To Me File:War_bride_08.jpg|Get Off My Back File:War_bride_09.jpg|Peace Will Never Be Possible File:War_bride_10.jpg|Hercules and Iolaus File:War_bride_11.jpg|You're Late File:War_Bride_02.jpg|Stand-off at the Temple File:War_bride_hercules.jpg|Hercules Challenges Alexa File:War_bride_13.jpg|How Can You?! File:War_bride_14.jpg|Fist of Tolas is Destroyed File:War_bride_15.jpg|Progressing Very Nicely Background Information * On the DVD boxset, the title has been pluralized to read "War Brides." * Iolaus' recurring nightmare is his battle with a Hydra in "Pride Comes Before a Brawl" (which also featured Lisa Chappell). Links and References Guest Stars * Lisa Chappell as Princess Melissa * Josephine Davison as Princess Alexa Other Cast * Ross McKellar as Gordius * Mark Raffety as Acteon * Chic Littlewood as King Tolas * Marcel Kalma as Hargus * Lori Dungey as Marge * David Geary as Lieutenant * Phaedra Hurst as Slave Girl * Ric Chan as Monk References * Alcinea * Lathia * Fist of Tolas * Helen * Paris * Menelaus * Elysian Fields Season Navigation de:Die Faust des Tolas Category:HTLJ Season 3 episodes